The Archive

Things that help, and how they connect.

Books, talks, organisations and guides I actually give to clients, drawn as a map. The big marks are themes; the small ones are the things themselves. Touch anything to see what it is. The whole archive is also written out below, if maps aren't your thing.

theme book video / talk organisation guide by me, coming

The same archive, written down

The banality of evil

Most harm isn't done by monsters. It's done by ordinary people with ordinary reasons, which is exactly why it's so hard to name while it's happening.

Eichmann in Jerusalem · Hannah Arendt · about
Why Does He Do That? · Lundy Bancroft · lundybancroft.com
Biderman's Chart of Coercion · Albert Biderman · about

Making sense of terrible things

Trauma and Recovery · Judith Herman · about
Man's Search for Meaning · Viktor Frankl · about
In the Dream House · Carmen Maria Machado · about

Desire, and its mechanics

Come As You Are · Emily Nagoski · about
The secret to desire in a long-term relationship · Esther Perel, TED · ted.com
Mating in Captivity · Esther Perel · about
Vaginismus · NHS · nhs.uk

Practical help, right now

Women's Aid · womensaid.org.uk
Rights of Women · free legal advice lines · rightsofwomen.org.uk
Surviving Economic Abuse · survivingeconomicabuse.org
Samaritans · 116 123, free, always open · samaritans.org

Field guides, written here

Short, practical, written the way I'd explain it in a session. Coming one at a time.

What coercive control actually looks like · coming first
Sensate focus, explained properly · coming
Unreliable erections: a calm guide · coming
After you leave: why you're still braced · coming

If you need someone right now

In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans are free on 116 123. In immediate danger, call 999.